Sunday, January 24, 2016

Coming back to the track

So my last surgery was nearly four weeks ago now and I'm healing well so far I think. My bowel seems to have settled a lot (I still have oh dear god I smell so bad days) and I have regained a lot of my control now everything is joined back together phew. The wound from where my stoma was is still open but is infection free finally and starting to heal. I still need to wear a dressing at all times so no bath or swimming yet much to my annoyance. I have three more appointments to get it checked plus a consultation with the surgeon next month to do a post op follow up.

My energy levels are still very low but I'm managing to have periods of activity. I've started doing some roller derby training which I cannot tell you how much I've missed! The experience of training as part of a team feels so good. I'm starting in a new city with a new league so it's tough mentally as well as physically. I've had a few nasty anxiety/panic attacks and have been beating myself up about it and not sleeping. I'm really missing the strength, endurance and general ability my body used to have when skating and in general. My feet remember what to do and so does my brain, but my body isn't able to respond as it used to and I find myself falling over my own feet a lot and getting frustrated with myself. My anxiety means I talk non stop which I hate. It must be so annoying for those around me and I can see/hear myself doing it but I can't switch it off or stop which makes me more frustrated and anxious. Hopefully I'll find my place over the next few months and start to relax. Everyone has been really lovely to me so I just need to stop beating myself up about my short comings. 

I will be making lots of lists and goals (yay!) and at the moment my key focus is trying to rebuild my shattered core strength. I've been very careful about listening to my body and it's limitations so will keep doing that so I don't set my recovery back. I just need to accept that it is what it is right now, but I got for before so there is no reason why I can't do it again. I just worry that as I have another operation left that I'll be back at square one again in a couple of months. I'm trying to stay positive and patient, but it's getting harder not to expect more of myself... 

Friday, January 8, 2016

Post bowel surgery recovery

Recovering from surgery hasn't been easy so far, but things are just starting to settle and today I'm 10 days post op. My bowels started working again about 15 minutes after the NYE fireworks and have been all over the place since! I seem to have settled into a 3 day cycle for now.

Day 1 - explosive horrendous diarrhoea, no hope of achieving anything or being more than 10 steps away from the bathroom for 24hrs

Day 2 - churning and confusion over what exactly is going to happen when I go to the bathroom but I can get things done on this day

Day 3 - horribly constipated with painful trapped wind. If anything does make it out of my extremely bloated and sore belly I'm basically a biohazard and the room must be immediately evacuated for the sake of everyone else!!! 

This was taken a couple of days after surgery and was my first time seeing what it was going to look like. The corrugated plastic was poking out as a drain and was removed soon after and the bloating has slowly started to go down as my insides heal. The circle is from where my stoma bag was and is still evident at 10 days post op.

This is how my skin look today at 10 days post op. I had 3 stitches removed today but as its a little infected and weepy I have to leave the final 2 in until Monday or Tuesday. The new dressing is permeable so the wound can breathe now but stops anything getting into it and make it more infected. Having the stitches out feels so much more comfortable although I'm still not allowed to have w bath. All I want it to run a lovely hot bath, pop some bubbles and a bath bomb in and start letting my poor skin recover. I'm now not allowed to shower either doh. 

I think the surgeons have done a lovely neat job of seeing it up and it'll be quite a neat line with a teardrop shape at the bottom where the drain was. I'm still eating my stoma diet food while everything adjusts and being given the best at home cat doctoring treatment possible! 

On a side note about the cats, I had to rush back from being let out of hospita to Liverpool in time to take my beautiful cat Morgaine to the vets to be put to sleep. I really wanted one last night with her, but when I got back I had to do what was best for her and not be selfish. Rest in peace beautiful lady, I hope you find your brother Merlin to play with xxx